In the last twenty years the terms, blended families, and mixed marriages have really become more widely used. Mixed marriage doesn’t mean people have mixed emotions about marriage, rather it means two marriages have been mixed together. In reality, it could include more than two previous marriages. A mixed marriage originally meant when two parents with children remarried, this family was considered a mixed marriage family or household. In the world today some people have children and never marry, and then they might get married, and have more children. The scenario’s can become pretty complex in some families. Some families have people with several last names living under the same roof. In order for a mixed marriage to succeed there will need to be some very well organized lines of communication established. This helps prevent children from taking advantage of the multiple parenting techniques involved. For example if one parent is a disciplinarian, and one is very easy going, the children will always ask the easy going parent for permission to do something. They can also plan on the easy going parent to have their back when they do something wrong. This parenting difference can create a huge strain on the other parents when one decides to give in to everything. The “easy parent” may sometimes be suffering from guilt associated with their divorce. The feelings of guilt may be comforted by giving in to their children. This might make the parent temporarily feel better, but is not doing the child or teen any good, not to mention the division it creates among the other parents.

Blended Families

The term blended family has become more popular in the last decade. Like Mixed marriage the term seems to be more inclusive of the entire family and the children involved. Blended family even sounds a little more inviting than mixed marriage. Blended would indicate that things are working together and family members are blending in with each other. In some cases the term could not be farther from the truth. Most families torn apart by divorce are only partially functional. Most teens that are pushed into a new family setting with a new parent, and new siblings will usually become angry. The teen doesn’t understand why they are in this mess, and they will usually blame one or both of their biological parents. This anger can sometime be transferred to the new parent and his or her children. Some children and teens never get over their parents divorce. The divorce can even create problems for them when they are older. For example a teen that has been through a nasty divorce with their parents may never want to marry. Once a child experiences the turmoil and hatred that can come from a divorce, marriage becomes the last thing they would like to attempt. In some children divorce then creates a lack of desire to marry at all. This may account for a small portion of the children born out of wedlock every year. It is unfortunate when two people decide to separate. It is equally unfortunate that the children who have no control over the divorce are hurt the most.

The year is coming to an end and it will soon be spring again. Some parents dread spring and summer as their teens will be out of school and on the prowl again. There are some military style summer programs available to keep them busy. If a teen has a tendency to get into trouble when they are not supervised, parents may want to look into a summer program, or summer camp for their teen. There are 30-90 day programs available in the summer months that would occupy the teen for the better part of their summer. Some of them are very structured and similar to an experience in the military. There are some that more like the summer camps of old with some time spent in leisure activities and sports. A simple search on the Internet can produce many options. Most two parent families have both parents working out of the home full time during the summer months. This leaves a void in the structure for the children that are out of school. It is not too early to begin looking for summer placements now. Some of the more popular summer programs are first come, first served, and fill up quickly with space being limited.

Summer Alternatives

It might seem a little unusual to start thinking of summer options for your child, but some of the options start filling up around the first of the year. Some other alternatives to consider may include, a part time or seasonal job for your child. This will require a little planning to see that they have everything organized and ready to move forward. In many areas across the country there are employment opportunities that are seasonal, or only available during the summer months. Each community is different, some research may be required to determine what these options in your area. If a teen has a job during the summer, they will have less idle time, removing some of the temptations they may have. Another option could be summer school. This is never received well by a teen, but it may be a great way to see that they stay on track academically. If the teen is a little behind this can give them a chance to improve their GPA, enhancing their college options. Another possibility would be a summer boot camp or boarding school experience. More than likely this will not be received with open arms by the teen. If the teen is struggling academically, and beginning to head down a negative path this may be a great option for them. The teen can learn that making appropriate choices will give them more freedom. A troubled defiant teen could be enrolled in some type of a 60-90 day boot camp or troubled teen boarding school to keep them out of trouble through the summer.

Summer Structure

If none of the options above seem viable it may be a good idea to set up structure for each child individually. During the summer teens typically don’t open a book, with the exception of Face Book. Parents may want to establish a reading schedule for their children. The kids can be taken to the library each week and select books they are interested in. They will be much more likely to read something if they find it interesting. Teachers of classes a child struggled in the previous year may be contacted to see what the child could do over the summer to enhance their skills. A list of daily activities is also a good idea. It is important that children have a break from the regular school year schedule, but equally as important that they have things to do in the summer. Chores should also be a part of the daily schedule. It is not necessary that the teen get up early, during the summer, but a list of things to do can help tremendously.

Many parents wonder if their child would be a good fit for a military school. There are several things that should be considered prior to placing a teen in a military school. Here are a few things to think about. Does the teen do well in school, what kind of grades do they get? A teen that is interested in attending a traditional Military School will need to do well in school in order to be accepted. They won’t necessarily have to have straight A’s but they will need to meet the minimum criteria for the school they are interested in. Some of the more prestigious military schools are difficult to gain admission to even for capable scholars. The school will select the best applicants for admission, this may limit some students from the ability to get in. If a child or teen is interested in going to a particular military school they should focus on getting good grades so this won’t limit their options. It is a good idea to obtain a list of minimum criteria from the desired military school several years before it is time to enroll. This will help the youth understand what kind of grades they will need to keep in order to be accepted. The child will need to obtain letters of recommendation from teachers and administrators, so they will also need to be well behaved.

Types of Military Schools

There are several types of military schools available for young people today. There are the old standby but very prestigious institutions like West Point, and the like, but there are less renown military schools that are also available. It is a good idea to research the schools that are available prior to the time when entrance is desired. It would not be a bad idea to get a list of minimum criteria a year or two in advance of the desired enrollment date. It may take some preparation for the youth to get prepared for the school they are interested in. There are also military style schools for troubled teens that don’t require a lot from the student. There is a drastic difference in the military school for a troubled teen and the traditional military school. Some parents confuse the two, creating problems while trying to find help for their child. The traditional military school will not accept a defiant youth. If a defiant teen somehow gains access to a military school, and is later asked to leave can result in a loss of tuition for the parent. Parents need to research schools or boarding schools for troubled teens rather than military schools when seeking help for a troubled and defiant teen. A teen that is truly defiant will usually not gain acceptance into a military school so it is not a huge issue, but definitely worth understanding the difference. The application process will usually help parents determine what type of placement they are considering. If the teen needs to be taken against his or her will typically they will be going to a troubled teen boarding school and not a military school.

When was the last time you praised your child for doing something? Some children are raised having never received any positive praise from their parents. They may receive some out of the home but never from the people that matter the most. Praise from mom or dad can go a long way in helping a child develop an appropriate amount of self esteem. From the day they are born children crave attention and they will usually get it. Before the baby learns to talk they learn to get what they need. They will cry until parents guess what it is they are asking for. This behavior follows a child as they grow. Some young people have a hard time explaining what they really want, if they really even know. One thing is certain, every child needs to be loved and praised. Children that don’t receive praise or positive attention may decide to get attention by doing negative things. In school this tactic will always get them some special attention, not the kind parents like to hear about, but it is attention non the less. This doesn’t mean that every child that acts out in school is doing so because the parents have failed in child raising, but successful parenting skills always include positive praise for children.

Complimenting Children

It may be difficult to find anything positive to say about a child especially if they are currently struggling. The initial positive comment may be something as simple as,”I really appreciate the way you got out of bed today”. Compliments need to be sincere, as children will see through a fake attempt to praise them. They may even think the praise is sarcasm from the parent if it is not sincere. Like anything it will take some time to develop the ability to effectively praise children, especially the ones that rarely do anything praiseworthy. Parents can create situations that will foster a positive situation that could end in praise. This can be done by building on the child’s strengths. If a child is good at athletics take some time to participate with them. Playing catch can produce a positive comment like, “you are really good at throwing that ball”, or “you sure can catch well.” Even though the situation was created the praise still happens and both parent and child are better for the experience.

Homework

Some parents worst nightmare is helping their child with homework. Not only the time it takes, but the continual pleading just to get the work out and get started. Homework can create a special time for parents to praise their child. If the child is doing terrible but is writing well the parent can compliment them on their penmanship. If their penmanship is terrible, but they are getting the answers to the work right parents can compliment them on doing so well on the assignment. If they are doing poorly in school but they are always on time compliment them for being punctual. Of course they need to be corrected for things they do wrong, but never let the corrections outweigh the compliments.

You Spoiled rotten little brat, Have you ever found yourself yelling these words at your child? The fact is there are many children today that could be considered spoiled rotten. To be fair it is important to back up a bit a look at the process that lead to the spoiled child’s behavior. Did the child all of a sudden just begin acting like a spoiled brat, or have the parents and grandparents assisted in this problem? Grandparents are included as in many families, they are directly involved, maybe even in a day care type environment. With both parents working today some families enlist Grandma to help take care of the children while the parents are away at work. This is usually much better than sending a child to a day care situation, but if the grandparent is too lenient it can create problems. In order for a child to become spoiled, someone has to spoil them. Before a parent gets too carried away screaming at their child they need to take a look in the mirror. Some parents feel guilty for leaving their children so much and in an effort to ease their guilt they buy things for the child. In some families a lot of things. This may be contributing to the child becoming spoiled.

Family Dynamics and Finances

When both parents work there is definitely a drain on the entire family. There is really no replacement for a parent always being in the home. Many couples never plan on having only one parent work, or a single income, so this thought never enters their mind. With family budgets planned around a two income strategy the family (mostly children) will suffer. The situation can be worse when the children are left alone after they come home from school and even at other times in the day. This applies also to teens being left alone.  The ideal situation would be for either one or the other parent to be in the home the majority of the time. This will create a strain on the family budget, but the sacrifice is well worth it when children and teens grow up with the consistency of a parent always available. The responsibility of raising children is very difficult even for parents that are home with them. When the child grows up without their parents influence it is no wonder that parent and children have a tendency to disagree on just about everything. Many parents today believe that it is the responsibility of the school system to educate their children. This is true to some degree, but does the education system provide for any type of ethical, moral or religious training?

Summary

The best person to raise a child is their parents. Parents should make every effort to see that they spend as much time as humanly possible with their children. No one can have as much of an influence on a child as their parents can. No one can provide the type of consistency for a child that parents can. While it may be difficult, parents should consider making arrangements for one of them to be in the home most of the time. This is important to consider even though it may require financial sacrifices.

Many teens are interested in a career in the military. Parents of teens that have expressed an interest in a military career can help their children make the best of their high school years. Youth today are more interested in the military than in the last decade. Some parents are apprehensive about a military life for their child due to the danger they may encounter. Life on the front line can be terrifying even for the most seasoned military veteran. There is really no way to minimize the potential dangers any youth in the military may encounter. Putting these fears aside for a minute, parents should look at the positives of military service. Those who serve in the military are entitled to on the job training and an education. The incentives offered for military service are very attractive. The education offered through the military may be the only way possible for some youth to afford a college education. In the world today life without a college education can be brutal and financially difficult. The college educated obviously make more than those without a degree. The military school can give the teen a leg up when it comes to service in the military. Some military school graduates are given preferential treatment in the military. Those that graduate high school and go onto a prestigious military school like West Point will be given a higher rank as soon as they enter military service.  This from the West Point website:

Upon graduation, cadets are awarded Bachelor of Science degrees and commissions as second lieutenants in the U.S. Army. They serve on active duty for a minimum of five years. West Point graduates have served our country in a variety of capacities for more than 200 years, as military leaders, engineers, explorers on land and in space, and as leaders in business and government.

The advantageous of attending a military school are obvious, parents of youth interested in a military career may want to explore the military boarding school as an option for their teen.

Parenting  Teens

Parents that have served in the military may want the same lifestyle for their child. This may not always work. Some teens just really don’t want to follow in their parents foot steps in anything. If this is the case parents should not try to force the military on their teen. If the teen doesn’t have any interest in the military they will more than likely fail in a military school setting. If the teen is interested in the military, a military boarding school may be a good choice. There are several military schools in the United States to choose from. Parents and teens should research them all to find the best option for their teen. Once the school is selected the parents and teen should begin making plans to visit the school. The plans may be subject to being accepted into the school, but it might be smart to visit prior to make sure the teen is interested before the arduous task of paperwork is tackled.

It almost sounds like an oxymoron to put military school and troubled teens in the same sentence. The fact is in the not too distant past troubled youth were ordered into the military if they had criminal problems. The mandated military service was a form of discipline and restitution for the unruly teen. These days are now gone and youth interested in the military must undergo a complete enlistment screening process. Rather than send youth into the military for misbehavior they now reward those who enlist with incentives.  This is not to say that the military used as “time served” in the past may not have been a good idea. There are adults that went through the court ordered military experience that will agree it may have saved their lives. The abrupt end to terrible behavior and the beginning of the highly structured life was just what the Dr. ordered for the rowdy teen. The success may have been coupled with the fact that people from that generation still respected adults and especially their superiors in the military. It is doubtful that this technique would work in our day.

Military Boarding Schools

Today military schools are reserved for those interested in a career in the military. There are High School and Jr High Schools that board youth interested in a career in the military. One such school, St Johns Military Academy, is located in Salina in North  Central Kansas. The school has been around for a very long time and they have had success creating quality youth prepared for service in the military. The school is organized in groups similar to the military and those in charge have offices and ranks similar to the military. Some personnel are former military people adding the “been there done that’ component to life in the school. The school is Christian based military school adding the religious component that is missing from many young peoples lives today. 92% of the graduates of St. Johns will go on to higher education. This statistic says volumes about the positive influence on the cadets enrolled.

Some military style schools are single sex meaning that they only enroll boys or girls. This is controversial in the liberal society that exist today. The upside to an all boys, or all girls academy is the obvious; (no need to impress the opposite sex). This  minimizes showing off and gives the boys and staff one less thing to worry about.

Troubled Teens and Military Schools

The troubled teen of today unlike  several years ago will not be court ordered to serve in the military. The troubled teen in most cases will not even be accepted into the military. Upper class prestigious military schools like West Point will more than likely never be an option for a defiant unruly teen. If a teen is enrolled into a military school against his or her wishes parent need to beware. Most military schools reserve the right to dismiss or expel a defiant cadet. Most do not have a refund policy, meaning that if a teen is kicked out of a military school parents may not be entitled to a refund.

Since the inception of the United States there have been military schools. Over the years many of our countries military hero’s have been graduates of military schools. The military school gives youth a chance to experience first hand how life will be when they enlist in the military. This takes the shock of boot camp, as it is a way of life for them. The necessity of keeping clean quarters and a perfectly made bed become second nature. They are used to addressing others as yes sir, no sir. Cadets soon understand the chain of command and realize that they should only speak when spoken to. They learn the benefits of shoes being spit shined, military uniform clean and ironed, hair cut, and their personal hygiene in tip top shape. Cadets will be in great physical condition appreciating the daily physical training or PT they engage in every day.

Prestigious Military Schools

There are some military schools that are difficult to gain entrance into. This is because they have been around for so long and because they have such a great reputation for producing capable string military leaders. For someone interested in a military career there are advantages of graduating from a military school. There advantages are increased when the soldier graduates from a prestigious military school. One such military school would be West Point. As of the date of this article West Point is accepting applications for 4.5 years in advance. Their enrollment process is very extensive. This list of requirements begins the long application process.

• At least 17 but not yet 23 years of age
• Not married
• Not pregnant or have a legal obligation to support a child
• A U.S. citizen (exception: see International Admissions)

If an applicant meets these requirements they proceed to the application process. We have added a link for convenience for those interested in applying.

West Point is the premiere education vehicle for the United States Military. If a teen is serious about a career in the military this would be the very best place to start. For those that are not able to attend a prestigious military institution like West Point there are other options.

Local Recruiter

Most every large city should have a military recruiter somewhere. This is a great place to begin planning a military career. They can assist with the administration of the ASVAB test. The ASVAB is the acronym for Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery. Basically in a nut shell it helps the army determine a cadets strengths, weaknesses and their potential for success in the military. The test can also help with career choices in a civilian setting and if vocational school may be a better choice than a university. The local recruiter’s job is to recruit youth into the military, but they can also be very helpful with some avenues that would be advantageous for the youth they talk to. To find a recruiter in a particular area follow this link. The first step to a life in the military begins at the recruiters office.