Mixed Marriages

Mixed Marriage

In the last twenty years the terms, blended families, and mixed marriages have really become more widely used. Mixed marriage doesn’t mean people have mixed emotions about marriage, rather it means two marriages have been mixed together. In reality, it could include more than two previous marriages. A mixed marriage originally meant when two parents with children remarried, this family was considered a mixed marriage family or household. In the world today some people have children and never marry, and then they might get married, and have more children. The scenario’s can become pretty complex in some families. Some families have people with several last names living under the same roof. In order for a mixed marriage to succeed there will need to be some very well organized lines of communication established. This helps prevent children from taking advantage of the multiple parenting techniques involved. For example if one parent is a disciplinarian, and one is very easy going, the children will always ask the easy going parent for permission to do something. They can also plan on the easy going parent to have their back when they do something wrong. This parenting difference can create a huge strain on the other parents when one decides to give in to everything. The “easy parent” may sometimes be suffering from guilt associated with their divorce. The feelings of guilt may be comforted by giving in to their children. This might make the parent temporarily feel better, but is not doing the child or teen any good, not to mention the division it creates among the other parents.

 

Blended Families

The term blended family has become more popular in the last decade. Like Mixed marriage the term seems to be more inclusive of the entire family and the children involved. Blended family even sounds a little more inviting than mixed marriage. Blended would indicate that things are working together and family members are blending in with each other. In some cases the term could not be farther from the truth. Most families torn apart by divorce are only partially functional. Most teens that are pushed into a new family setting with a new parent, and new siblings will usually become angry. The teen doesn’t understand why they are in this mess, and they will usually blame one or both of their biological parents. This anger can sometime be transferred to the new parent and his or her children. Some children and teens never get over their parents divorce. The divorce can even create problems for them when they are older. For example a teen that has been through a nasty divorce with their parents may never want to marry. Once a child experiences the turmoil and hatred that can come from a divorce, marriage becomes the last thing they would like to attempt. In some children divorce then creates a lack of desire to marry at all. This may account for a small portion of the children born out of wedlock every year. It is unfortunate when two people decide to separate. It is equally unfortunate that the children who have no control over the divorce are hurt the most.

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